there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
