I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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