Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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