no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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