Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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