i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
