I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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