If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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