p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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