you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
