I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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