Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize