highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
