Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
