A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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