I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
