You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
