It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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