So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
