She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I cannot find my penis.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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