i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
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It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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