Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
