Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
