I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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