We're facebook friends in real life
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
