Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
