that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
