so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
