Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
