its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm too high and old for this...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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