I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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