There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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