Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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