hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
