Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
