I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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