If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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