I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
