she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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