i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
