THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
