mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
