Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
