We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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