You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
