There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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