Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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