You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize