Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize