she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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