There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I love you.
Bad choice
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