ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Even my vagina gasped.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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