never play flip cup with pint glasses
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
