you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
